Courtney Barnett

In a perfect world, Australia's Courtney Barnett would be touring with Eleanor Friedberger and Hospitality. 

AVANT GARDENER

I sleep in late another day
Oh what a wonder, oh what a waste
It’s a Monday, it’s so mundane
What exciting things will happen today?
The yard is full of hard rubbish it’s a mess and
I guess the neighbours must think we run a meth lab
We should amend that.  I pull the sheets back,
It’s 40 degrees and I feel like I’m dying.
Life’s getting hard in here so I do some gardening
Anything to take my mind away from where it’s 'sposed to be.
The nice lady next door talks of green beds
And all the nice things that she wants to plant in them
I wanna grow tomatoes on the front steps,
Sunflowers, bean sprouts, sweet corn and radishes.
I feel pro-active, I pull out weeds
All of a sudden I’m having trouble breathing in.

My hands are shaky, my knees are weak
I can’t seem to stand on my own two feet
I’m breathing but I’m wheezing, feel like I’m emphysem-in’
My throat feels like a funnel filled with weet bix and kerosene
And, oh no, next thing I know they call up Triple O.
I’d rather die than owe the hospital 'til I get old.
I get adrenalin straight to the heart
I feel like Uma Thurman post-overdosing kick start.
Reminds me of the time when I was really sick
And I had too much pseudoephedryn  and I couldn’t sleep at night.
Halfway down High Street, Andy looks ambivalent
He’s probably wondering what I’m doing getting in an ambulance
The paramedic thinks I’m clever cos I play guitar
I think she’s clever cos she stops people dying
Anaphylactic and super hypochondriactic
Should’ve stayed in bed today, I much prefer the mundane.
I take a hit from an asthma puffer
I do it wrong - I was never good at smoking bongs.
I’m not that good at breathing in.